anger

today i learned about anger. i have always lived life as a somewhat invisible person. i don't like to be the center of attention. true story, i was in a room and my mom walked through and asked where i was...i was on the couch looking at her. my sister demanded attention. i don't think she did on purpose...it's just how she was. my mom looked at me a few months ago and said "after having your sister, i just didn't have the energy for you" it wasn't an apology, it wasn't said in a sorrowful tone...it was just the facts. was i hurt? yes. was i sad? yes. was i angry? i thought i was...until today. i have always considered myself to be an angry person. i sat down with my preacher today, upset and confused, because i know that i should be slow to anger, yet i live an angry life. he laughed at me..lol. he said that i am very controlled if i'm so angry. so we talked a little about a situation at work that recently happened. (long story short-i had a great idea, someone was trying to take credit for the idea. managers are involved on my behalf because i don't care if my name is on it, but they do.) so he told me that we needed to look at the definition of anger. i learned that i'm not an angry person..it's ok to stand up for yourself. sometimes it's important to MAKE yourself seen instead of just being content to hide behind others. so here's hoping that i can learn to stand up for myself. not worry about what other people might think of me if i look at them and say "No" i'm going to learn to the take the compliments and move on instead of trying to "aw shucks, it's no big deal" my way through life. i have been placed in a wonderful job with great opportunities, and i'm there for a reason-if i keep doing things to change protocols with the patient's best interest in mind, then it's all good. i learned today that i AM slow to anger, i cautiously move forward in a reasonable manner...that doesn't equal angry. it's not such a fine line after all...who knew?